It has taken some God-given discipline to continue studying through 2 Chronicles over the last few weeks. And, by God's grace and with His help, I finished it yesterday morning! What a journey to read and study about the different kings and the reoccurring "he did evil in the eyes of the Lord." But, ah, there were those men that pursued the Lord and did what was right in God's eyes. What faithfulness in the midst of darkness. What evidence of God's strength and desire in the hearts of weak men. Josiah was just one of those men that stood out to me during my study. He was only 8 when he became king! Whoa!! "He did right in the eyes of the Lord and walked in the ways of his father David." (2 Chron. 34:2) At only the age of 20 (the 12th year of his reign) "he began to purge Judah and Jerusalem of high places, Asherah poles, carved idols and cast images...the altars of Baals were torn down..."(2 Chron. 34:3-4). The phrase "high places" really struck me in my studies. I think I've heard someone preach on this idea and truth before, so this was possibly just a refresher and reminder to my heart. What high places are in my heart that are hindering me from lifting Jesus high? Can I have high places and still worship Jesus with my whole heart, mind, and strength? Aren't high places of any kind idols? You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything..." (Deut. 5:7-8) So again I had to ask myself, What high places are in my heart and hindering my affections to be fully on Jesus?
Identity.
What others think about me; what I think about myself. God, You are showing me how much I think about myself and attached to that is what value and worth I feel like I have or deserve. Let me stop right here and recommend a book that I literally read in 3 days (it's only 3 chapters); "The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness" by Tim Keller. Amazing truth of the freedom Paul walked in by only valuing the opinion of his Savior! Paul's value was declared on the cross through Jesus's blood and any performance was simply evidence of that given value. Not the other way around. Therefore, Paul was not concerned with the opinions of others or even the opinion of himself. What freedom!
Now back to my heart. I, however, do not have that freedom because the value that others dictate or allude to about me or how I'm feeling about myself has become a high place for me. It consumes me. It causes fear, anxiety, and lack of trust of what Jesus has already accomplished for me. Ultimately what I'm saying in those moments is that what God thinks about me is not good enough for me! Talk about a reality check! I would never say that with my mouth, but I am beginning to recognize this thought process and heart posture going on a great deal. What ends of happening is all I can think about is me. High place? Absolutely!! Praise God for His grace and mercy to reveal this to me and woo me into a deeper dependence on Him and greater satisfaction in Him. There is no shame or guilt. There is just boasting in weakness at another opportunity to be awed by a God that forgives and changes forever!!
Lord, grow me and change me! Press me more into Your loving arms! Rid me of the "me thoughts." Purge my heart of the high place of MY identity. Remind me in those self-centered moments that I've been given a new identity, YOUR identity, that is unshakable! Grant me freedom from myself and to love You more than life itself and to forever know that I AM YOURS!!!!
I pray all these things from a humbled, weak heart to a great God Who is in control and can make good come for the sake of Your glory! Amen.
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