His faithfulness in the "Normal"

Father, as I sit to type I just want to reflect on the past week and all the ways I can remember that You provided and lavished Your grace on this sinner in need of more of You every moment!! I could never remember all that You've done since "Your favor lasts a lifetime" (Psalm 30), but to be overwhelmed with the abundance that I can recall in this finite mind is again a work of Your grace! May I see "circumstances" as Your mighty hand at work and never think of my life as mundane or routine because with You there is joy and thankfulness overflowing.

Tuesday (sept 24th)-Jesus, You blessed my day with sweet time with a dear friend!! Doing life with her and enjoying You in her heart and life was amazing! Thank You for helping me soak in the moments with the girls and stopping to actually play and read to them. I was reminded of how You have blessed my sweet family with a KY family. The boys' "grandparents" took time to go to school and be there with Noah and Tucker during the grandparents reception. They all care for us and do so much for us!!! Not merely niceness, Father, but Your kindness springing forth!! Thanks for working out our schedule for me to get "time off" every week to go enjoy volleyball! Again, not mundane but part of Your sovereign plan. A breath away from "mommy" is always good.

Wednesday (sept 25th)-Happy 70th Dad!!! Jesus, thank you for the time to ponder and write a letter to my dad and express my heart to him and how You've blessed me through him. Thank you for the phone call and simple words to tell him i love him!! I pray for Dad to trust You more, love You more, and seek You more this year than he ever has! So, my first ever migraine attacked me around 10:45. Hard to understand Your timing, but realizing that You are present and the prince of the air doesn't want me to trust You I had to call this (with Matt's leadership and wisdom) spiritual warfare. There was no rhyme or reason for the nausea, light headed, loss of vision that turned into a massive headache that I literally couldn't see straight. BUT You supplied my strength and focus since it was You that worked out the details for me to head up a literacy night at the Clark County Preschool every month through our youth service teams. It was the first time and Satan didn't want me there. He didn't want to me to remember what I had prepared.  But he doesn't win!! You are in control and even through migraines I will trust You and see You moving and working in my midst. Yes, we wish there was more of a turn out but thank You, Jesus, for the 7 kids and 2 moms that were there! I hope the get-to-know-you conversations that I was able to have with those 2 moms will grow into opportunities of encouragement for them (and me)!! We chatted about taking time to stop and love on our kids in the midst of the busyness of life! I pray that they will see a realness in me as a mom that seeks to honor the Lord in all she does!!!

Thursday (sept 26th)-precious time with my prayer partner over coffee and two toddlers!! :) Father, it literally is a work of Your hand when we actually get a chance to sit down and chat during the busy seasons of life that we are both in the middle of. Thank You for the breath of fresh air of heart conversations!! You are changing both of us and growing our honesty of admitting weaknesses and enjoying the dependence we have on You! What a gift to "spur one another on toward love and good deeds." Thank You, Lord, for working out the time clear up something going on at church. I had the opportunity to ask pointed clear questions. Now give the needed patience!!! Praise Jesus, Noah's cast was taken off!!! Still a splint for 2 weeks, but his precious little bone is healed and just needs a bit more support. His perspective of the little things he can do on his own now is so sweet and encouraging to me. There is joy in the little things!!! Please help him to be more mindful of others in need after this experience.

Friday (sept 27th)-Sweet breakfast with one of my girls from small group!! such a gift and rare opportunity when you try to find empty space in our schedules. Thank You, Jesus, for the laughter and catching up!! I'm reminded of all the ways You worked during the 4 years of leading them. "You are good and Your love endures forever!" I pray that Katie will know Your nearness no matter what is going on and she will enjoy You and Your Word all of her days!!!! Taylor and Nora practicing for their flower girl deput was priceless! They cooperated so beautifully!!! Amazing to be a part of Regan's wedding and watch how You've grown her over the last 6 years of us being here! Thank You for Your sustaining perseverance!!!

Saturday (sept 28th)-just the fact that we "made it" through the schedule and details of today is a grace!!! Soccer games were fun, naps were squeezed in the middle, and then it was time for the wedding festivities! I loved my time at the church with the girls and we were getting ready. They were so excited and loved seeing all the fancy dresses (especially the bride). It reminded me of how sweet and innocent and small my girls are!!! I want to cherish this season so much! AND thank You, Lord, that they went all the way down the aisle and did there part perfect!!!!! So adorable! Father, thank You for supplying me with patience and the eyes and heart to enjoy and not stress.

Sunday (sept 29th)-O Lord, Your Word is refreshing to the very marrow of my bones. Thank You for being alive and active! Give us eyes to see You, hearts to trust You, and a unity that brings glory to Your Name!! Thank You, Father, for the "nothing" afternoon!! Such a rare gift but straight from Your hand!

Jesus, Your ways are higher and Your faithfulness is never ending! Thank You for being so near and a part of every single detail of my life!! May I not miss Your work or cease to enjoy Your goodness!!!!

Fullness of JOY!!

This past week I found myself lacking in a deep-rooted, always trusting, forever growing JOY!! I found myself asking the LORD for a life with a flavor of joy. One that doesn't waver depending on circumstances or acknowledgments from others. One that is contagious to those around me. One that causes my children to love Jesus with everything they are. One that sustains me during the overwhelming times and discouraging times. One that leaves me hungering and thirsting for more of my Savior. Well...I still felt....uh.....lacking! Ever been there? You just want something but don't know how to obtain it? You try so hard but still see the limitations and weaknesses?
Father, this is where I was at the end of last week. Feeling overwhelmed and unable to handle things the way I knew I should. Feeling fussy and out of control. Sure it was a crazy week with 2 out of 4 kids (so far) catching the yearly fall stomach bug, a field trip, Matt's seminary class assignments, celebrating an amazing 4 year old's birthday, extra things at church, and just the normal stuff for us; BUT I wanted to be joyful!!! And, well, I wasn't! I wanted my life to explode with a joy that holds steady through it all!!! And I didn't have it!
Seeking the rules to obey; I found freedom in grace. Longing for the formula to follow; I found Your accomplishments through the cross. Only focusing on my deficiencies; I found Your strength being made perfect. Feeling out of control; You reminded me that You are in control. Thank You, Jesus, for the reminder that You are God and You are good!!!

Here are the gentle, yet powerful words that came my way this morning:
Psalm 16:11 "You make known to me the path of life; in Your presence there is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore."
I want joy? Seek Jesus!!! I will find joy, FULL joy, when I'm pursuing Christ and enjoying His beauty and majesty. God, I get so distracted and think that it's how I'm living and how well I'm measuring up that grants me joy. That's all wrong!! You are my joy!!! In your presence are joy and pleasures forevermore!! As John Piper said, "There's nothing fuller than full and nothing longer than forever!!" Help my heart believe that, Father! Let every part of me know that all I need is YOU!

These verses, also, came to my heart during this week:
2 Corinthians 4:8-10 "We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies."
It hit me this week that I'm not crushed, in despair, forsaken, or destroyed because of Jesus!!! Not because circumstances only go so far and then cease to be difficult. Jesus was crushed in my place! His death provides protection for my life. Jesus is my hope through the cross, so there is no despair! Jesus will never leave me or forsake me!! I will not experience destruction or death because my life is now hidden with Jesus. "To live is Christ, and to die is gain." Philippians 1:21 Sharing in the sufferings and death of Jesus is where my joy, hope, comfort, peace, and contentment are found.

May my heart forever be seeking Your face, O LORD, and my eyes be setting their gaze on Your beauty. Forgive me for pretending that I could have a life of joy on my own, or that other things could produce joy in the deepest parts of my soul. May I always remember that a deep rooted, never wavering joy is found only in You. Thank You for the cross!!!!!!

His Refreshment!!

HIS Word is so refreshing!!!! Thank You, Jesus, for speaking to my heart by Your very breath and majesty. Your Word is satisfying to the deepest part of my soul. There is no greater joy than hearing from You and drinking in Your goodness!
Just some prayers straight from scripture to focus my heart solely on my Savior:

Judges 8:23 

"...The Lord will rule over you." 

May my heart take great courage, comfort, and joy knowing that, YES, the Lord is in charge and ruling over my life! May I loosen my grip and stop pretending that I would ever want control over my life and circumstances. There is joy when I enjoy His mighty hand directing and dictating my life. Thank You, Father, for fighting for my greater good!!!

Psalm 16:8-9, 11 

"I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand. I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure...You have made known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand." 

Why, Lord, do I seek pleasures and fulfillment from this world that has nothing satisfying to offer? By Your grace and with Your help may I always set my gaze on the beauty of Your face. I'm pursuing You, help me to pursue You!!! True gladness and rejoicing will come when I spend all my energies on being in Your presence.

Psalm 112:4

"Even in darkness light dawns for the upright"

Only a Creator and Savior like You would continue bringing forth light to such a dark and dying world. You are LIGHT and You are shining in and through all things! Thank You for the brilliant colors of dawn that when focused on change my perspective from temporary, selfish thoughts to everlasting thoughts of Your beauty and presence. You are working; You are good; You are near!!!

Romans 5:1-2

"We have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand."

Romans 5:20

"But where sin increased, grace increased all the more"

Romans 6:14

"Because you are not under law, but under grace"

Grace, grace God's grace!!! There is no life apart from His work on the cross! Not merely for salvation, but to continue living and being changed into His image. We need the cross!!! Help me not to live as if I'm under the law where there is guilt and shame! I am counted worthy by the blood of the Lamb and the word of His testimony about me!!

Ephesians 4:15

"Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into Him who is the head, into Christ,"

May I be the gospel to those around me by speaking the truth (sometimes hard truth) in love! To those who know You and those who don't. May I be the aroma of Christ!!! Through conversations and simple interactions. May others see a glimpse of You as they encounter Your work of grace in my heart and life!

Thank You, Jesus, for Your Word and how You speak in the quiet still moments early in the morning, through a massive Beth Moore simulcast, and through our sweet community time discussing Your truth. You are amazing and my ever present help in time of need!!! To You be all glory and honor!

Ah, to sit.....

It feels so refreshing to sit right now and simply reflect on God; His character, grace, mercy, forgiveness, and goodness!! He is my joy, hope, and peace! He holds the universe and pours out love all at the same time!
So, I highly recommend sitting down and praying for others when you feel your heart perspective drifting towards self and away from Jesus. I am still refreshed from my time as I typed last week's post. Thank You, Father, for putting my gaze back on You!!! You are so beautiful!!!!
By God's grace, last week my attitude was more other-centered than me-centered. I had opportunities to share truth with others and pray with them! I love enjoying the Lord through relationships and gospel conversations.
An emotional heart-to-heart with my mom was definitely a gift!! Jesus, thank You for the honesty that she and I have and the encouragement we can give each other through scripture! Father, I pray that You would remind her tonight of Your presence and control over all circumstances!!! She trusts You, help her trust to deepen!
Matt had the opportunity to preach at a memorial service (his first). What a picture of Your faithfulness and work to see what 11 months can develop in friendships and heart connections. One couple from our community group lost a parent, and Matt helped usher their hearts into complete celebration over a loved one being with Jesus!!! Yes there is sadness, but oh the joy to know a son has returned home!!!
A conversation with my brother Wednesday night just sent my heart soaring!!! I pray that you would remind him of Your nearness right in the midst of circumstances!! That he would drink deeply from Your Word and love nothing more than You!!!
Lord, thank You for slowing me down toward the end of the week and stirring my heart with great thankfulness for Matt's servant leadership in my life and our family's. His help to me and my heart is quite the grace. I, with Your help, only hope to be the support and encouragement that he is to me. We don't always see eye to eye at first or come to situations the same way, but to ponder the growth of our relationship is to remember the gospel. May our marriage be used as a picture to a dying world of Your love, grace, and forgiveness.
Friday morning brought sweet conversation (and coffee) with a true dear friend that I am continually growing in my gratitude for. You have answered my prayers in Your perfect timing. December and I got together and were able to "let our guard down" and share honest struggles and deep joys with one another. Coming before Your throne together is so uplifting to my sometimes worrisome heart. Your refreshment is satisfying!!
I have absolutely loved spending time with my kids over the past few days. We were so incredibly busy this week but I found myself just watching them, laughing with/at them, wanting to catch some quality time one-on-one when the opportunity was there. One day in particular was so precious with the girls and I. A quiet morning at the library, going to Kroger for a ride on the "penny" horse, and a kiddie hot chocolate at Starbucks. We had so much fun!!! The simplest of things can serve as such a breath of fresh air! Another breather this week was bedtime. Reading, praying, and singing with the kids before bed can feel so rushed (and, honestly, sometimes I'm just "done"), but I found myself drinking in the preciousness of that time!
One other simple thing that has encouraged me this week is all the dinners we have eaten together as a family!! Even with the piano lessons, church activities, and soccer practices we are setting aside that time as sacred in our home. Thank You, Lord, for helping me stay on top of the planning (and may it continue) and giving me the energy to prep and cook when the time comes! AND for Matt's incredible help on multiple levels! This is one of those things that could be overlooked as God's faithfulness in my life and I praise Him that He's allowing my eyes and heart to be so aware of His goodness through dinners!!!
My post concludes this evening by reflecting on God's protection of Noah yesterday. His pinky is only fractured!!! An accident in the gym at church left us wondering, but the X-ray this morning confirmed! I'll take him to the orthopedist tomorrow to see just how bad it is. Noah was such a trooper today. I was so proud of him! He was nervous of the unknown, but he did very well!!! Thank You, Father, for stripping more of his control and reminding Him that You are the One we trust!!!
May God be given ALL the glory for the great things He has done!!

Matthew 6:33 "But seek first His Kingdom and righteousness and all these things will be added to You."
          Praise You, God!!! It is being added!!!!!! Fill me with more of You and less of me!

Approaching the Throne

Let's be open and laid bare from the start...my heart has been fussy all day today. Looking at the things not accomplished and focusing on my wants instead of those needs around me. But I take heart tonight in Hebrews 4:13-16 "Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of Him to whom we must give account. THEREFORE, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."
So, tonight I want to approach the throne of my Savior and allow HIM to help my heart ponder the goodness that overflows to my heart and life from HIS heart!!
Lord, I am again overwhelmed with the growth I see in Matt. Today, specifically, he has served me, checked on me, pursued me, and loved me like only You can help him do. Thank you, Father, for reminding me of Your care even when I may hold it at arms' length. You pursue me and love me beyond my imagination and for that I am very grateful!! Lead Matt on the path that you want us to be on. Show him where to turn next. Use him to make much of Your name and fame. Thank you for his growth and determination in sharing and showing the gospel!!
Jesus, capture Noah's heart! Help him to realize that he is not good enough and will never be a part from Your work on the cross. Thank you for the times this weekend I heard and saw him showing kindness and sensitivity to others. Thank you for the tenderness that his heart shows and use that for Your kingdom. Continue softening his heart to the gospel and his need for a Savior.
The selfless, sharing heart that you have given Tucker is only a work of Your hand, Lord. Keep helping his eyes be on others more than they're on himself. Thank you for his joy of laughter. May his joy be rooted in You and cause others to want more of You! Help Tucker's aim in life to be to know you more and point others to You.
Father, Taylor is beautiful in Your eyes and perfect work of Your hand. To hear every song that she makes up to be about You and Your glory is just precious. May that truth be real in her heart one day as You draw her and mold her into Your precious daughter. She seems to know so much. Soften her heart to instruction and help her to humbly accept correction and wisdom. Use her for Your glory alone!!!
Give Nora a gentle and calm spirit, Lord. Help her to grow up with patience and love for those around her. Rid her of the demanding spirit that she has in her two-year-old body right now! May her amazingly beautiful smile be only a picture of the happiness in her heart as she knows she is loved by the Creator of the Universe. And may her captivating eyes draw people to a deep knowledge of the One she gazes at!
Wow, to have these thoughts and prayers replace the attitude I had when beginning this post is truly a gracious work of Jesus!!!
Thank You, Jesus, for giving me mercy and grace in my time of need!!!!