Hold fast to Jesus!!

What a week of "new normals!!" Last Monday I made reference to all the things going on this fall for my family, and sitting here now I can hardly believe that I made it through the past 7 days. Mainly because of my weak faith and lack of trust in God's control and help! But, of course, I made it because God IS in control and He does help even when I don't stop and ask for it!! We are adjusting to our new normal schedule for this school year and it's tough. However, Psalm 23:6 refreshed my heart right in the middle of what was absolutely insane circumstances..."Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever." Thank you, Jesus, for reminding me that Your goodness and mercy are following me (what a cool thought as I feel trampled by defeat and guilt). Knowing that I will dwell with Jesus forever is more than enough goodness for me to "make it," but He pours forth goodness for my days here on earth too!!! WOW! My heart has reasons to rejoice!!
I was, also, reminded this morning of the ONE call on my life from Joshua 22, "to hold fast to Him and to serve Him with all your heart and all your soul." Good, well-behaved kids are not my calling; a clean organized house is not my calling; keeping up with those around me is not my calling. The calling on my life is to hold fast to Jesus!!!!! Lord, change my heart to be singular focused! Help me be aware of when I'm distracted from my calling. Joy, peace, and rest will overwhelm my soul when I gaze on Your beauty and remember that You are enough!
Your faithfulness, Lord, has pursued me this week. At the start of the week I was focused on my circumstances and feeling way out of control, and You gently reminded me that I'm NOT in control. To pretend that I am is arrogant and a sin against Your character. Forgive me and change me! Your control is good and right in all circumstances! Thank you, Father, for helping Matt and I work together and support one another! Matt's patience with my emotional explosions is You being patient with me! His tenderness to calm my heart and point me back to the cross is You reminding me of Your love and care for me! His words of truth and gracious correction are Your promises to refine my soul and make me more like Jesus!
I am so excited over how the Lord has directed my involvement in the student ministry at CBC!! I will obviously continue to support Matt in everything he's leading in and offer help when needed, BUT my focus is building relationships on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights and teaching the high school girls' Sunday school class. The Lord has made me more aware of the things He's wired me to be passionate about! I love connecting with people's hearts and having genuine conversations, and I love teaching the Bible to people and helping lead discussions. YAY!!! Thanks for the open doors, Jesus! And thanks for Your wisdom and direction to continue on and pull back where you want me to.
The boys are doing great in school and soccer so far! Matt and I are praying for wisdom to love well in the seasons that they're in and help them not pursue perfection, but enjoy what they can do and seek to get better in other areas. The girls, well, the tears are flowing every MWF when they're dropped off at school. I hate leaving them when they're sad. I pray for their hearts to be full of joy as they remember how much they're loved throughout the day.
For all the moms and dads reading this....I came across an amazing truth on someone's blog last week that is so simple, yet profound. As believing parents, let us seek to raise adults that will run to Jesus in their time of need! Lord, make me an example of one that runs to You for help instead of pretending that I have it all together or feeling guilty that I'm weak. I truly want my kids more than anything to love Jesus with everything that they are. To lean on Him, trust in Him, and pursue Him with such great passion that others would know that they have been with Jesus!
Thank you, Father, for Your work...seen and unseen....and for Your presence in my life!!!

Joy in the Journey!!

Psalm 115:1
"Not to us, O LORD, not to us, but to Your name give glory, for the sake of Your steadfast love and Your faithfulness!"
In all honesty, I really struggle to want the glory for myself!! This is evident in my frustrations when my plans are messed up, when things don't go my way, and when life isn't all about me!! There it is...the raw, laid bare, wretched heart posture that this girl has so much of the time! His grace and forgiveness is HUGE to love me and call me precious despite the ME perspective that I fight on a regular basis.
It is all for Him and His glory!!! The times that I can live this way by His grace and with His help offer such freedom to my enslaved selfish heart!!! TO YOUR NAME GIVE GLORY!!!
Conversations: This week has been rich with conversations!! Relationships are such a gift from Jesus and a picture of His work on the cross! Skyping with a heart friend in East Asia...what a gift!!! Having lunch with a friend that has just come back from East Asia...what an encouragement!!! Spending basically the whole day Friday just Matt and I (kids were in school and piano lessons hadn't started up yet)...what a joy!!! Honest confessions during our community group time Sunday night...what a blessing!!! None of these happen apart from the hand of God to work things for His glory and to further His kingdom! Nothing of my doing. TO YOUR NAME GIVE GLORY!!!
Schedules: Welcome to August - 32 piano lessons kicking off, Middle School Choir directing, 4 kids in school, 2 boys playing soccer, regular youth events, Matt's seminary class starting up...Whew!! Today was the beginning of what we are trying to think of as a great adventure. God has things before us that we've never seen and we can't begin to imagine how He's going to use them for His glory and to make us more like Himself. At every turn, no matter how sharp, I want to see the joy in the journey as He carries me and my family. Today He supplied such energy for all that needed to happen and I made it!!!! In little moments and big moments I want to breath in His goodness and grace and not take a breath without thanking Him for supplying!!! TO YOUR NAME GIVE GLORY!!!
Life: Jacob Glenn LaRue is HERE!!! I have a new precious nephew; born just tonight!!! I haven't seen him in person yet but I know that he's perfect, made in the image of God and created to bring his Creator glory!! What an incredible picture of God's grace and perfect timing!! Helpless newborn babies are such a connection to the truth of the gospel. May my heart be in such dependence on Jesus as Jake is for every little breath and heartbeat! TO YOUR NAME GIVE GLORY!!!

As I close...
Lord, I need Your constant help to change my perspective from me-centered to YOU-everything!! Everything is from Your hand and all Your doing. Thank You for Your never stopping, never giving up, unbreaking, always and forever LOVE (taken from the Jesus Storybook Bible). I want to live for Your glory and point others to You. Help me see opportunities to enjoy You when circumstances are spinning out of control. Thank You for Your supply today!! And for joy in the journey! TO YOUR NAME GIVE GLORY!!! Amen.

Let's not Forget!!

A Chapter Ending -
The past 3 months has been so full of God's grace and goodness!!! As we were praying tonight (the eve of the school year) I was reflecting with the kids on all the memories and togetherness we have had during the summer!!! ALL from the hand of our Creator! Trip to MS to see family (lots of family!), VBS, lots of pool days, forts, movie nights at home, Mimi time for kids while Matt and I went to camp with students (one from our group accepted Christ and others grew a ton), games, bike and scooter rides, late movies, drive-in movie in the church parking lot, loose teeth, play dates, and much, much more!! Along with these memories there were hard times: disciplining and training four children, tears, sickness, death, interpersonal struggle, misunderstandings, weary hearts, wasp stings, potty training, skinned knees, and much, much more!! BUT in and through it all was God's grace and faithfulness. He strengthened us and reminded us so much of His nearness and His aim to perfect our faith and make us like His Son! His mercies are new every morning to provide for us what we need for what He has planned for our day!! I can testify that He keeps His promise!!
Thank you Jesus for the "stay-cation" we were able to take last week!! Just 15 minutes from home, but a world away in our hearts. Intense family time! What a way to celebrate Jesus! He provides and blesses!!! Your blessings after a stripped down simple summer are overflowing!
This past week Noah was an amazing big brother!!! Don't get me wrong...his share of mistakes, but God allowed me to stop during 2 key moments and see this 8 1/2 year old boy playing and laughing with his sisters. Once while we were finishing up a swim play date and another during Tucker's soccer practice! This mommy is so thankful to give God all the glory in those little moments along with the huge ones!
His work is so evident in Tucker's heart too as I listen to him plan out his sharing strategy just minutes after getting a party favor bag. He couldn't wait to get home and share his candy with everyone!!!! Now that is God at work, don't you think?!! Romans 3 says that "There is no one who seeks God, no one who does good!" So it is God working in my precious children when I see them serving and being selfless!!! He is faithful!
The truth that I keep being taught in my own time in the Word and the sermons at church keep speaking of joy in the midst of suffering. What a hard thing to walk out especially when it hits you square in the face!! This past week there were two situations where by God's grace and hand on my life I was able to respond (not initially) with joy and trust in my Savior. One was during a simple conversation and being misunderstood completely. My heart intent was to share a new and exciting thing about to start at church and the response was doubt and negativity! WOW!! Thank you Jesus for keeping my mouth shut (until I let it all out to Matt shortly after). God fights for me and my joy and it can ONLY be found in Him and my union with Him through Jesus. The second situation of suffering is far more serious but just as evident of God's work and grace. Sickness is such a hard thing to grasp...questions, fears, emotions...but I'm praying for God to continue to move and grow and deepen walks with Him and a passion for His name and fame!!!
What an amazing time of accountability with the ladies in our community group this past Sunday night. Digging deeper and praying for one another.....a picture of the power of the gospel!!! We've been forgiven and extended grace to; let us show this to others!!!
This week concludes with fabulous time with my dear sister!!! She's due with little Jacob any day now and I got to spend 2 1/2 hours of uninterrupted time with her!!! So thankful for both of our husbands making this possible!
I leave you tonight with...
James 1:17 "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights,
                   who does not change like shifting shadows."
Let's not forget!!!

A new journey....

The intent of this blog is to magnify Jesus and tell of His wondrous deeds!!! He is forever faithful and lavishing grace upon grace on me and my family and I want to tell of His awesome works!!! As the Israelites were so quick to forget God's provision in the face of drought and suffering as am I quick to grumble or wish for different when things don't go my way. So God has layed on my heart to journal of His abounding goodness and faithfulness in my life so my mind and heart would be fixed on Jesus, the Author and Perfector of my faith!!!
Well, tonight, Monday, August 5th, has me sitting in my room with 4 precious children asleep upstairs. The mood is quiet but my heart is full of joy!!!!! Noah, our 8 year old, has been asking so many gospel questions lately. Praise God for His work in his heart and Matt and I are trusting God in His perfect timing to draw Noah's heart and give him a new heart that seeks the Lord and desires to glorify Him with everything he is! Tucker, Mr. 6 yr old, is so full of life and laughter! He, too, is beginning to truly desire things of the Lord and simply wants to "have Jesus!!" Our "Tay-bug" (3...almost 4 she's quick to remind us) is absolutely a joy and refreshment to any hurting soul. She wants to laugh with and take care of whomever she is around. She is never without words and I pray that God will let her tell so many people about Jesus over the course of her life. Ah, then there's little Nora!! Our 2 year old. Full of energy, whether positive or negative, everything is FULL on!!! She reminds me of God's unfailing love as that is her new thing to say. "Mommy, I love you. You love me? I love you!!!" Oh, what a gift!!
This summer has been full of so many memories. Normal life/routine memories, new beginnings, family adventures, and sanctification moments for the parents as much as the children!! Thank you Jesus for Your constant work even when I kick and scream and want it my way!!! Thank you for changing me and helping me enjoy "little" moments along the journey and may I grow in this mindset.
As I watch my husband continually seek the Lord for help and guidance I am awed by the fact that twelve years ago Matt Gurney said "Yes!" to marrying me. We have grown so much this summer in our reliance on God's strength and in our love and care for one another. Thank you, Jesus, that you gave me a leader that points me to You even when it may feel uncomfortable! He had the opportunity to preach in church last night and oh, to hear Matt break the Word with such honest, humble passion is a sign of God's faithfulness in and of itself!! So many affirming words from others! What are you leading us to, Lord?
God has brought a friend into my life to pray with on a regular basis. She is great encouragement to me over our honest and sometimes tearful conversations. He has reconciled another friendship after much heartache. But forgiveness is there because of the forgiveness we receive at the cross!
The Lord has opened a door for me to teach the Word to High School girls on a regular basis after showing me that He has given me the desire to do so!! The opportunity is all His doing!!!! I'm praying about and meeting with people about a vision He's given me to help young parents connect and grow in their love for Jesus and His church. Praying over those details!
The summer over the past 6 years has been a very testing time with our finances. My piano lessons pretty much cease and this is a huge cut in our family income. We prayed and really committed to some specific things at the beginning of this summer (cheaper dinners, not as many road trips which meant I was home for 9 days while Matt went to Ecuador, simpler living) and asked the Lord to by His own doing provide more piano students than ever! I can now say with only 2 weeks left of this "dry" time that He IS faithful and will do over and above what you expect or imagine. 20 students, sustained energy during single parent life, thankful hearts over PB&J, and enjoyment of one another as opposed to the goings and doings of culture are a testimony of His hand on our life!!!!
This may seem like a unorganized list, and it is, but as I meditate on His faithfulness things flood my mind! This only scratches the surface, but as my first entry it somewhat catches you up!
My heart wants to testify, " I see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:13-14