Kneeling before my Maker

Thank You, Father for the confidence that we come before Your throne through the blood of Jesus. There is forgiveness, grace, and mercy to help in our time of need. To sit at Your feet, adore You, and in faith ask for more of You is unimaginable yet at my disposal! You, the Creator of the Universe caring about my heart!! How marvelous, how wonderful is my Savior's love for me!!!
I love praying for and with people. I'm not one of those "spend hours in prayer by myself" kind of people (really want to be), but I do absolutely love to pray with others and I thank You, Jesus, for the opportunities You gave me this past week to do just this.
Last Wednesday night was our monthly service night with the youth; so I took the group of students back to the Clark County Preschool for a literacy night. This is a challenging night for our students to really reach out to little kids and be energetic with them. Some of the youth weren't particularly excited about going and I knew we needed Your help to love on whomever was there and not think about ourselves. So, before we went in to meet the families I circled up the group and came before Your throne on everyone's behalf asking for Your eyes and Your love to be all over us. Thank You for helping me come to You instead of overly correct the wrong attitudes. I pray that the youth as much as the families at the preschool will see You more than they see me through everything I do. Thank You, Lord, for blessing the time there more than I expected. From 2 moms last month to 8 moms and grandparents this month!! Yay for the opportunity to dialogue about real life things about raising kids and caring for them well. Father, You were all over that time and I couldn't have done anything apart from Your help and direction! I pray that those relationships will grow deeper every month and that gospel conversations will happen in Your perfect time.
On Thursday, Matt was having a pretty significant meeting. We had been talking and reflecting about some things and You provided the time for him to discuss them with someone else. He and I talk so openly about questions, struggles, and desires and I know that this honesty is a gift from You and only something that You develop in Your children. Before the meeting Matt and I were able to pray about everything together. This time was short but so amazing to not just say we're praying about stuff but to really do that!!! Your presence provides such joy and comfort! Thank You, Lord, for orchestrating that time for us.
Also, on Thursday, I had a small recital for my piano students. Some students have been taking the whole 4 1/2 years that I have been teaching and some students just started this past August. I love the opportunity to talk and encourage them as a group in the gifts and talents that You have given them. Whenever I have them performing in any kind of recital I always pray for them, their nerves, and their memory of what they've practiced. I always connect the fact that You have blessed them in their music ability and we want to thank You and ask You for help. This may seem insignificant and trivial to some, but, Jesus, I trust that You can use even a time like that to remind children that every good and perfect gift comes from You! I know it reminds me of that!!
Father, I love opportunities to pray for a friend in their trust in and walk with You. There's no greater gift than approaching Your throne on behalf of someone else for them to love You and pursue You more. Thank You for the time (even over the phone) to pray for a dear friend that was struggling. It was used in my own heart as well to focus my thoughts on You and not circumstances. Thank You for friendship and how we can intercede for one another.
Over dinner Friday night, Matt and I encouraged the kids to think of something that they are thankful for about You, Jesus (not that You give them, but Who You are). Their sweet voices lifting up sentence prayers to You was warming to my soul. Thank You for the stillness of those few minutes!!!
Teaching the High School girls Sunday School class has become such an encouragement to me and a huge highlight to my week! The girls are so precious and I love the relationships I get to have with them! Thank You, Lord, for the opportunity. After encouragement from Matt, I decided to spend some extra time during our class yesterday just adoring You and coming before Your throne for more than just a few rushed minutes at the end of our lesson. I directed the girls to pray thanking You for who You are and remembering Your awesomeness!! To hear their hearts and pleas to want to be more like You was priceless and very refreshing. Please help me to treasure that time and commit to it every week.
Father, the time last night for accountability in our community group with the ladies was honest, humbling, and encouraging. Only You can do all of those things in 45 minutes! Thank You for helping me see Your gospel applied to all aspects of life! Hearing prayers of close heart friends and praying for them and their walks with You is something to praise You for! Thank You that I get to lift them up on a regular basis! Thank You for the cross and for being the foundation of all friendships.
Lastly, Jesus, thank You for stirring my heart to pray every morning for Your help for my day. You help me remember that You have things in store for my day and all those things are for my good. You remind me of the new mercies that are mine for the day. You remind me that I am nothing apart from You, and that it is in my weakness that Your strength is shown perfect!! Thank Your for caring for a sinner such as I!

Philippians 4:6 

"Do not be anxious about anything, 

but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, 

present our requests to God."

Your Work Alone

Jesus, I come to You tonight simply wanting to be with You!! You are an awesome God that only does good and desires to bring glory to Your name alone. Your love never fails and Your grace is overflowing in abundance. You are enough for me!!!
Lord, You have given me such sweet honesty with others over the last couple of weeks. This is a theme of refreshment that keeps coming up in my pondering of Your goodness. You encouraged my heart and challenged me through my sweet "coffee time" with my mom when she was here. The honesty and humility is only a gift from You. Thank You for our relationship and the assurance I have that she lifts me up daily. What a blessing and evidence of Your faithfulness to have a mom that seeks, trusts, and pursues You. Thank You for her growth and continued dependence on You. Honest questions and hard truths over lunch with Rachel was truly a breath! Even being a bit distracted by Taylor and Nora, thank You for the conversation and prayer.  You are working and helping me realize I don't have to have everything figured out. I'm not guaranteed tomorrow, so all I seek to do is honor You in the moment that You have graciously granted. Rachel is a gift and her life is a joy to watch, be around, and be a part of. Realizing how you've grown and developed our friendship over the last 6 1/2 years is amazing!! From our very first conversations til now, Your Word and truth have been the foundation of our heart connection! Finally getting a time worked out with December was an answer to prayer. Thank You for a friend that shares so many joys and struggles. Our strengths and weaknesses are quite similar. The times of encouraging each other through them and pointing each other to the cross are precious to me! May we "spur one another own toward love and good deeds" (Heb. 10) as we meet together and pray together. Last night's community group was so real and honest that I had a hard time settling down when we got home (in a good way). Discussing how we can seek to help the unity in our group and in our church was so rich. The work that You have done in all of us to bring us to one mind is only by Your grace and only for Your glory. Continue growing our encouragement for each other and our accountability. And there's the priceless, amazing conversations with my best friend, my love, my mate!! I am overwhelmed with the man You've given me and the marriage You have grown and continue to grow between us. There are questions that we come before You with together. There are disagreements that we reconcile at the foot of the cross. There are sweet moments of care and affection that are only because of Your beauty and goodness. There are supportive and sacrificial moments that definitely don't come natural, but Your hand is molding us to be more like Jesus. The list goes on and on of how Your hand is on Matt and I. You are making us more and more dependent on You. You are the only reason that there are selfless times. You orchestrate our time together and our time apart. May our marriage reflect Your image and likeness. May You use it to show the world Your love for Your bride!!
Lord, the blog I read today on Desiring God about treasuring my children was exactly what I needed. Help me, Father, to treasure them and drink in the small moments BUT not dwell on them and make them my focus. I have no idea how to balance it all, but I want to point them to You! Thank You for helping bedtime seem less stressful. For giving me patience and an eye to overlook when reading to the girls. I get so frustrated when they don't listen to the Jesus Storybook Bible. I think it's because I am focused on the task at hand and sometimes missing the precious girls that I'm reading to and tucking in. Keep helping me to love on them and show them grace! And, I thank You, Jesus, for the season of life that the boys are in and simply reading verse by verse through the bible is enjoying. Talking to them about Enoch walking with God (Gen. 5) tonight was a moment to treasure. May Your Word be truth filled with joy for them to live by and not just facts that they store in their heads.
God, I thank You that soccer is over. It was fun, but the extra time at home will be nice. Help us use it to enjoy You as we enjoy each other. Thank You for keeping the boys safe and only one broken bone during the season (which had nothing to do with soccer)! Thank You for the friendships that grew and the ones that started by all the time spent at practices and games. Help Matt and I to always seek You before having our kids involved in anything. We want everything we do to help all of us be more in love with You and more about Your name and fame. We can never do this on our own! Help us, Jesus!!
God, thank You so much for choosing me, pursuing me, loving me, and calling me Your own. I am so aware of my wretchedness and conscious of the times I'm not loving You or trusting You. As frustrating as this is I'm seeing that it helps me be all the more be awed by the fact that by the blood of Jesus I am Your daughter! Only a good, perfect God could take a mess up like me and make her a princess. May I only boast in Your kindness and care. May I always stop to ponder the many ways that I am not and YOU ARE!!!
Father, You have me and are working out things in me that are all for good! This is the comfort that I must stand on! This is the place that I want to be! May I be found in the shadow of Your wings, in the refuge of Your presence!!

Delight and Desire

"Delight yourself in the LORD and HE will give you the desires of your heart." 

Psalm 37:4

Father, as I read this verse I am reminded of all the things I delight in besides You. You are forever good and always faithful and yet I waver in my pursuit of You and Your face. 

I confess that there are many things I delight in that have no promise of ever satisfying my deepest need. I delight in my accomplishments. I want to be "super-mom" and always be organized and never late. I want to handle all that comes my way without any falter. I want others to comment on how well I do with so much on my plate. Jesus, this is prideful and arrogant. Forgive me, for not giving You all credit for handling my day and circumstances. You are the One holding things together and making things happen. It is none of my own doing. This shows that I have the desire of control and strength and You do not promise to give me these things. May I desire You alone!!

I delight in having a gospel-centered marriage and family. These are good gifts from You, but put in the wrong position they become my pursuit. And, therefore, when things seem "out of whack" I freak out and think that my life is crumbling and spinning out of control. Father, relationships on this earth are messy and have great need of Your perfect hand holding them together. You are my promised Husband and You are to be my chief love! You have blessed me with a man that honors and loves You with his whole heart and this is his desire for me. God, you have given me a family for the sole purpose of giving them back to You. Our unity and happiness together is not the highest goal. May I point my children to Your face and be an example of one that loves and desires You with everything I am. In the middle of all that You have blessed me with, may I never think that You promised struggle free relationships. There is such joy in the times of reconciliation and grace in all You are doing. May I desire You alone!!

I delight in the attention that my children get from others. All this does, Jesus, is stir my heart with envy and resentment toward those that You are blessing and bestowing goodness upon. You never promise for Noah, Tucker, Taylor, and Nora to be given lots of things or have tons of friends. I want this so bad for my kids!! For them to have a great childhood and to be thought well of by others, BUT this is not to be my delight. I'm sorry, Lord, for pursuing this attitude so much that my focus of You gets blurry. May it be truth from my heart when I pray every night for my children to only desire You and only have a love for You! Keep You as my only delight!!

Unfortunately, the desires of my heart can get on the wrong path too, Father. I desire to be well known and noticed. I desire to be fit and thin. I desire to have things come at ease. I desire to have well-behaved children. I desire to receive immediate "blessings." I desire to be understood by those around me. I desire to be trusted. I desire to have my way. I desire to accomplish my task-list in my strength. I desire to be seen as wise and helpful to others. I desire to never make a mistake. And the list goes on and on....

My one and only desire is to be YOU, Jesus!!! And as I delight in You, You will give me more of YOU!!! Oh, that my heart could live with this posture! And with Your help and Your grace, I will continue growing and changing. Thank You for Your love and never stopping pursuit of me. May I find such great delight as I seek Your face. Continue to stir greater and greater affections in me for Your presence. You are good and You are faithful!!

Praise Your name, Jesus!!!!

Pondering is a gift...

Lord, my life moves at such an incredibly fast pace with not much room to sit, to stop, sometimes to sleep, or to reflect. This is very overwhelming to me and sometimes down right frustrating! BUT I thank You, Father, for granting me the grace-filled time to ponder ever so often. These times are such a gift because they cause my heart to rejoice in Your goodness and work in my life! There are a few things on my heart tonight that I want to acknowledge as works from Your hand alone. Measurable growths in my life and in my walk with You! Thank You, Jesus, for not giving up on me and my weak faith! Thank You for Your constant faithfulness and desire to produce good in such a wretched soul apart from You.
I am so thankful, Father, for the increase in my desire to sit, read, and study truth! You are helping me rise early (way early) and spend amazing time with You in Your Word. By Your grace I am digging deep into Your Truth and seeing so much of You. Some mornings I just can't stop reading and other days I can't quit thinking about what I read that morning! Your Word is alive and active! Thank You for showing me more of You and the beauty of Your face!! The blogs and books that You have brought my way have been a huge part of my sanctification. I find that IF I have a few minutes of down time in my day I want to pull up another article or read another chapter to just set my heart on things above! You have shown me how much that setting is a fight and has to be a conscience effort to not focus on myself (usually a pity party) and focus only on You, the Author and Perfecter of my faith. Reading is not a natural love that I've always had, which is why I recognize it as Your work! I am going through solid books quickly and I talk about what I'm reading to whomever will listen. Therefore, You are filling my speech with more of You and less of me! Again, not a natural doing. Father, please continue to grow my desire to sit and spend time with You. Help me to fill my time with truth that stirs my affections for You, Jesus.
Another specific way that You are changing me, Lord, is to lessen my desire to go to food to solve my emotional needs! This may seem trivial but You have helped me recognize how I long for food in a way that only You are to satisfy my soul. I have been praying for You to make me aware of the times I'm craving temporary treats when I should be yearning for the everlasting filling of my soul with Living Water!! I want You to be my refuge and the restorer of my heart when I'm lonely, sad, frustrated, or sleepy. Thank You, Father, for helping me control my mouth and literally pray before I eat. This is an area that You are giving me such freedom in, but I know with that freedom comes great temptations. May I continue to look to You for everything You are for my spiritual, emotional, and physical needs!! May I boast in my weakness and completely depend on You for my life and breath.
So after complete frustration when our dryer ruined several articles of clothing last week, You granted me the gift of pondering. THINGS don't really matter! You are helping me hold loosely to what You've blessed me with and hold fast to the cross!! After my plans had to be changed multiple times because of a sick child, You reminded me of all I have in Jesus and that doesn't promise a task list completed or bump-free road. Father, You are helping me slow down and not get in an uproar when my schedule is interrupted. You are sovereign and You know best!! What a gift to recognize Your hand at work even in the yuck! It is all good from a good God with a good plan!
Thank You for helping me ponder, Lord!!!

2 Corinthians 10:17 "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."

2 Corinthians 11:30 "If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness."

Colossians 3:1-2 "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things."