HIS Wondrous Deeds

I just want to sit tonight and revel in Your wondrous deeds and tell of Your greatness, Lord. Your grace abounds and Your love is overwhelming! May I never get used to it!! Though I am weak and my flesh fails may I be found praising You and enjoying Your presence.

The conversation after conversation that Matt and I were able to have last Friday (Valentine's Day) was incredible! Just to have the time together (his day off and I only have 4 lessons) at home, over lunch, and then the surprise date night that he planned for us was only by Your grace and Your doing. It is unbelievable the heart connection and honesty that we share. But, again, with You holding us together, of course it's believable! I love him more today than I ever dreamed I could 15 years ago and I was head over heels then!! It is a work of Your faithfulness and Your goodness. Lord, I continue to pray that You would help us spur one another on toward You with greater passion everyday. May we be the gospel for those around us. Use our life together for greater things than we can imagine.

Another snowy Saturday morning provided some much needed nothingness for a couple of hours!! Father, You cause the snow to fall and the seasons to change. I praise You for Your plan. You know best!! Taking Taylor to a birthday party was a reminder of the people You've put in my path (sometimes not very often) that I can be building relationships with. No, they may not be just like me but I want to make much of You regardless of where I am or who I'm with. Thank You for sustaining my energy and giving me joy! We had another college bible study Saturday night. Not a huge crowd, but to read and study through Psalm 16 together was beautiful. The call to delight in the church (Your saints) as an overflow of our delight in You was very challenging to me. Enjoying You in other believers is how we display Your glory and love for Your church. 

Father, I praise You for Your Word. Matt has been teaching through Ruth for the past 2 months and we finished it this past Sunday morning. Wow, what an amazing story of redemption and a foreshadow of Your plan to rescue a people through a Kinsman-Redeemer. You use weak vessels in Your story for Your glory! You are involved and care about every detail of my life; You are working and changing me for Your purposes; and, You are working beyond me for the sake of eternity and to make things new again! There is no refreshment from Your Word unless You speak and cause my heart to listen and respond. Thank You for Your presence and voice!! And, oh, Lord, I praise You for the accountability time with the ladies from our community group. They encourage me greatly and the growing honesty is drawing our hearts closer to You as our relationships deepen.

Father, the extra time with Noah and Tucker on Monday morning since the girls had preschool and they were off was just precious to me! Just hearing their laughter reminds me of the joy that is found in You. Jesus, capture their hearts and do great things in them for Your name and renown. And then Tuesday to take Taylor and Nora to the bookstore and enjoy them was special as well. Reading to them and hearing them play and pretend was a joy!! These four gifts straight from Your hand never cease to amaze me and remind me of Your awesome works!! Thank You, Lord, for letting me be a mom!! I don't always feel so mushy but it is a joy and a treasure that I praise You for! Help me to lay my life down for them and show them by my life what it means to know I'm nothing and You are everything! To live in my weakness so Your perfect strength may be displayed. To run to You for help and not seek to fix myself. 

God, thank You for Your still, small, quiet whisper in my heart and how it woos me to Your arms. You have been reminding lately where my confidence comes from. I want to be overwhelmed with Your presence in my life that You are all I  think of when I'm around others, when I begin to worry about life, when I wonder if I'm doing things right, when I'm questioning if I'm making a difference, when I long for what others have, etc. You are my confidence! Your Word is true and You are faithful to keep Your good promises. Rid me of any pseudo confidence in myself and help me stand on You as my foundation and my everything!!! 

I praise You for Your wondrous deeds. I have no good apart from You!

Dependence...

...the state of relying on or being controlled by someone or something else...

Dependence is an uncomfortable word. It points to weakness and shortcomings. It says, "I can't. I need help. I am lacking." The world is constantly feeding the lie to be self-sufficient (or at least pretend to be), hold your own, and say to others "I'm good." Be independent!!
Father, tonight by Your grace I can say that dependence brings freedom. Dependence brings joy. Dependence brings satisfaction. When I think back on this week and my journey with You I am so thankful that I can be dependent on You! There is tension in my heart to keep this posture and perspective, but You gently remind me of my need for You.
Taylor, the inquisitive 4 year old that she is, has been asking the deepest questions lately. "When will Jesus come back? Why can't I see Him today? What will it be like in heaven?" I love these questions!! It gives me the opportunity to share truth with her and point her to Your glory. I am completely dependent on You for the biblical words to answer these questions on a level she can begin to grasp (and that doesn't keep us up half the night...she likes to talk theology at bedtime)! Thank You for Your truth that can help a 4 year old grow in her love for You and Your glory!! How beautiful to see her eyes light up at the thought of seeing You and being with You forever!
You've reminded me of the mere fact of my dependence on You physically too. Hurting my knee playing volleyball this past Tuesday was definitely not in my plan for this week. I have had to pray through my attitude toward not being able to work out like normal and just the annoyance of discomfort. Father, thank You for not letting it be much of an injury and for slowing me down to show me the unhealthy drive I have toward fitness. I recognize my dependence on You for this perspective to genuinely be where my heart rests.
There is a constant need for dependence in relationships. Not with the other person, but with You. I need Your help to do relationships well. A selfless heart in my marriage; a sacrificial heart in my parenting; a caring heart with those in need; wisdom for those needing counsel; and patience for those hard to love. I can think of all these instances from this past week in one way or another. And it is not anything of me that helps me respond well or admit my weakness when I fail. Thank You for living through me and continually supplying me with what I need when I need it!!
Many times this week dependence has been on my mind and heart because of my weaknesses and failures. In times of losing my temper with my children You've reminded me that I am lacking in gentleness, but You are the gentle Father. In times of not wanting to own my sin in situations You've reminded me that I need help and that You are still changing me. In times of fretting and feeling anxious You've shown me in Your Word that fretting only leads to evil (Psalm 37) and that I can't fill my life with peace, but You are the God of peace and rest. In times of questioning our live's course You've reminded me that I don't know the plans for my life, but that You are a good God fighting for our greatest happiness to be found in You alone and that is Your plan. All of these moments come face to face with my weakness and Your strength!!! For that reason I can say thank You, God, for my complete dependence on You and help me to be comfortable with such an uncomfortable word!

Delight

Psalm 1:2

But his delight is in the law of the Lord,

and on His law he meditates day and night.

Thank You, Lord, for the discussion of Psalm 1 at the college bible study that we kicked off last Saturday night. This verse has been on my mind and heart over the past few days and I am seeking to make it my prayer in every moment and situation that You have me in. The question that comes out of this is "What am I delighting in?" Do I truly delight in YOUR ways and purposes. Umm, no, not most of the time. This psalm clearly says blessed is the man that delights in Your law. Your law brings freedom, hope, and joy. Why wouldn't I delight in Your law? Jesus fulfilled the law and lived it perfectly on my behalf. He lived the law; He displayed the law; He is the law. Do I delight in Jesus?

How do I delight in something? All of my energy goes to that something. All of my motivations point to that something. I run hard after something that I desire. Lord, help me to put all my energy, point all my motivations, and run hard after YOU!! It just makes sense that this verse would also say to meditate on Your law day and night. When I delight in something, I think about it. I want to study it. I can't get enough of it. Again, Lord, help this be the drive I have for You and Your law. Your law. Your Word. You are revealed in Your Word. As I delight in You, I will delight and meditate on Your Word. Help me to keep yearning more and more for Your Word. In it I find life for the deepest parts of my soul.

I remember Matt Chandler asking at a Student Life Camp, "What helps stir your affections for Christ? What hinders your affections for Christ?" It seems to me that all I do will answer one of these questions. And I see the connection between my affections and my desires. Lord, help me to rid my life of things that do not help me desire You and Your law. Point me to those things that will stir greater affection in my heart for You and Your law. 

All of life comes down to just one thing....that's to know You, oh Jesus!!!!!!