Delight and Desire

"Delight yourself in the LORD and HE will give you the desires of your heart." 

Psalm 37:4

Father, as I read this verse I am reminded of all the things I delight in besides You. You are forever good and always faithful and yet I waver in my pursuit of You and Your face. 

I confess that there are many things I delight in that have no promise of ever satisfying my deepest need. I delight in my accomplishments. I want to be "super-mom" and always be organized and never late. I want to handle all that comes my way without any falter. I want others to comment on how well I do with so much on my plate. Jesus, this is prideful and arrogant. Forgive me, for not giving You all credit for handling my day and circumstances. You are the One holding things together and making things happen. It is none of my own doing. This shows that I have the desire of control and strength and You do not promise to give me these things. May I desire You alone!!

I delight in having a gospel-centered marriage and family. These are good gifts from You, but put in the wrong position they become my pursuit. And, therefore, when things seem "out of whack" I freak out and think that my life is crumbling and spinning out of control. Father, relationships on this earth are messy and have great need of Your perfect hand holding them together. You are my promised Husband and You are to be my chief love! You have blessed me with a man that honors and loves You with his whole heart and this is his desire for me. God, you have given me a family for the sole purpose of giving them back to You. Our unity and happiness together is not the highest goal. May I point my children to Your face and be an example of one that loves and desires You with everything I am. In the middle of all that You have blessed me with, may I never think that You promised struggle free relationships. There is such joy in the times of reconciliation and grace in all You are doing. May I desire You alone!!

I delight in the attention that my children get from others. All this does, Jesus, is stir my heart with envy and resentment toward those that You are blessing and bestowing goodness upon. You never promise for Noah, Tucker, Taylor, and Nora to be given lots of things or have tons of friends. I want this so bad for my kids!! For them to have a great childhood and to be thought well of by others, BUT this is not to be my delight. I'm sorry, Lord, for pursuing this attitude so much that my focus of You gets blurry. May it be truth from my heart when I pray every night for my children to only desire You and only have a love for You! Keep You as my only delight!!

Unfortunately, the desires of my heart can get on the wrong path too, Father. I desire to be well known and noticed. I desire to be fit and thin. I desire to have things come at ease. I desire to have well-behaved children. I desire to receive immediate "blessings." I desire to be understood by those around me. I desire to be trusted. I desire to have my way. I desire to accomplish my task-list in my strength. I desire to be seen as wise and helpful to others. I desire to never make a mistake. And the list goes on and on....

My one and only desire is to be YOU, Jesus!!! And as I delight in You, You will give me more of YOU!!! Oh, that my heart could live with this posture! And with Your help and Your grace, I will continue growing and changing. Thank You for Your love and never stopping pursuit of me. May I find such great delight as I seek Your face. Continue to stir greater and greater affections in me for Your presence. You are good and You are faithful!!

Praise Your name, Jesus!!!!